If it were any other year, I probably would’ve started this by saying this is the latest I’ve published a year-end post, with some explanation that “life happened” right at the start of the new year, etc. etc. I would’ve implied guilt and remorse at being late, and of time getting away from me. Maybe I would’ve also sounded a little smug about being “so busy” and “appreciating the hustle”.
But you know what? 2025 was a year of unlearning a lot of things that didn’t serve me anymore. It was a year to start from scratch, going back to zero, and I realized it was as much about unlearning and decluttering as it was about building something new.
So, no—I offer no explanation about the delay. It was a conscious decision to write my year-end post once I had time for it: on a Tuesday in Tiong Bahru Bakery, probably my current favorite bakery/café in the city, after an extra-long weekend of birthday celebrations, great food, hip restaurants, and having all my favorite people around the same table.
All things considered—particularly my corporate redundancy at the end of 2024—2025 has been a good year. Honestly, it was great! But I’ve also moved the marker on “great” in this new chapter of my life, so allow me to clarify.
Compared to the previous years, this year I had no overseas trips, which used to always feature in my year-end posts, and are often the highlights of my year. But since last year I’ve been rethinking my relationship with travel, and at the start of 2025, I made the conscious decision to do no trips. The main reason is that with no steady income, I didn’t feel comfortable spending for travel. That said, in previous years, I’m pretty sure I’ve travelled with my credit card maxed out and did not care. I went anyway.
But I realized I travelled not just for the experience, but in large part also to escape my “current”—a corporate job I knew I only did for the money (no matter how much I said it was kind of fulfilling) which led to a lack of time for the things I cared about. Travelling was a big “**** you” to my corporate life. And now, without a corporate life to loathe, travel didn’t seem as enticing. Definitely not enough to spend my dwindling funds for.
Of course, I’m never going to regret how much I travelled in my 20s and 30s. I will always cherish those moments. They shaped me in ways nothing else would’ve, had I spent that money on something else. I would not write the way I write now without having travelled that much. Cheesy as it sounds, I would not be the same person I am now if I didn’t travel. But it’s time to turn a page on my relationship with going places. There are still places I want to visit—the English countryside on the top of my list—but I’m content in the thought that I probably won’t be able to do so for a while.
Instead, I spent most of the year at home, in my tiny house, writing, crafting, catching up on shows and movies, hanging out with my dog and my family. And that is one new marker of a “great year”—a slow life in the province, content at home.
Another thing I had to unlearn (and will continue to) is to stop myself from worrying so much. I’ve talked about stopping myself from borrowing grief from the future, and a lot of times in 2025, I caught myself when I was doing so, and was able to stop myself. But it’s a journey. Old habits die hard, and it’ll take a while for me to be less of a worrier. I’m working on it.
A friend also lost his job at the end of last year, and the piece of advice I told him was that he shouldn’t worry about a lot of things: not having money come in every month, not knowing what will happen in the future, or what he’ll have to do if some emergency comes. But I also said that it was easier said than done.
At the end of last year, right around my milestone birthday, I also got an income-generating gig doing part-time and remote marketing consulting. Like a reflex, as soon as I was back with a corporate email and doing calls and making presentations, I wound back into the tense corporate drone that I once was: always thinking ahead so as not to make mistakes and to impress the boss, always trying to overdeliver. But then, I decided I needed to unlearn that. I’ll do the best that I can, but I’m not going to get worked up about any of this. It just isn’t worth it. And it doesn’t serve me. So while I’m thankful for the job (I really am!), I’m not thankful enough that I’m going to get myself all anxious and worried about it. Is this what they call a healthy approach to work?
Of course, amidst all the unlearning, I also did a bit of building. The biggest, biggest achievement of the year was that I finally signed with a literary agent. It took many, many months, a lot of uncertainty and emotional roller coasters, and SO MUCH WAITING, OMG. The waiting was horrible. But a lot of this writing business is waiting, so I guess I need to get used to it. It finally came, also right around my birthday and accepting the offer on the marketing consultancy. It’s funny how that happens—you spend the first nine months of the year steady, almost empty, and then everything happens all at once! Currently I am waiting to see if I’ll be going on submission soon with my first manuscript. I have high hopes that there’ll be more progress this year—please pray for me!
Some other highlights: I really got into crocheting, and even hosted two workshops for making a chunky yarn bag. It’s a new income source I hope to explore this year! It’s also nice to build community, and I like that it’s another channel for my creativity.
It was also a great year with friends, which I am incredibly thankful for. I saw them a lot this year, I think, which is wonderful, given we all don’t live in the same place anymore! With everything changing, I’m thankful my friendships are the solid foundation I rely on while everything keeps moving. May that foundation only grow stronger.
I was always a bit of a non-conformist. But now more than ever—40 years old, without a corporate job, living in my parents’ property, still (and most likely permanently) single—I’m the most non-conformist I’ve ever been.
Nothing is said to my face, and maybe this is the little bit of the conformist inside of me that says it, but I’m almost certain there is judgment—from my parents mostly—of what I’m doing with my life. I bet they struggle to explain what their first daughter—former achiever, did well in school and went straight into working for Fortune 500 companies—is doing staying home, not attending their get-togethers, not working. When their friends’ kids are building homes, taking their kids to school, taking them on trips abroad, I’m not doing those things.
It took a while to realize and accept that I was living with those expectations—like I said, I always thought I was a bit of a non-conformist, and that I didn’t care what other people thought or how I measured up to standard forms of success.
But I think I kept my corporate job for so long so I wouldn’t feel uncomfortable being so different—my parents could still say I had a great job in a great, global company. I was single, yes, with no plans of getting married, I didn’t have the big house, I went on trips but they were trips they didn’t understand (one of their friends once asked why I went to the UK to visit ‘forests’. I bet my mother was affected.) But I still had the cool, girl boss job. And now I don’t have even that.
My biggest unlearning of 2025 was to let go of those thoughts, those expectations—I’m not living to please my parents, or anyone. I didn’t choose this life to explain it to others whose lives I don’t want. Those expectations are boundaries imposed by others, and in 2025, I just wasn’t having any of it.
I thought I was done with my rebellion phase in my teenage years. Little did I know a bigger rebellion was coming in my 40s.
And as was stated in Andor, my favorite show of 2025 and probably ever, rebellions are built on hope. So I welcome 2026 as the Rogue One that I am, hopeful for a good year of achieving my non-conformist goals. Long live the rebellion!
